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I love my wife. But it's gotten harder every day since we had our first son. Now that we've had our second, I feel like a second class citizen in my own home. She doesn't communicate with me, seems resentful of me, and sex has become a major inconvenience that she only tolerates from time to time. I have no doubt that being a stay at home mom is incredibly hard and must be exhausting, but there comes a point where I can't get my head past certain things.
I'm a male in my late 20's and sex is not something that's ever far from my mind. She keeps telling me how I wouldn't want to have sex with her because her body isn't what it was before the kids were born (true). I keep telling her I still think she's beautiful and she's all I've got! What should we do, wait until she decides she's in perfect shape again? Our youngest is over a year old.
Every time I proposition her, or even touch her in passing, she wriggles away, pushes me away, or flat out tells me to stop. When that happens I get blind with anger and either leave to sleep in the basement, or start a days long silent treatment war. I'm tired of it and want it to end, but I'm getting to where I don't want to put in the effort anymore. Does it get better?
3 comments:
From a wife's POV:
She's probably tired. She's got kids crawling over her all day. Being touched by one more person is just too much. She just wants a little alone time - completely alone. Try offering to take the kids once in a while so she can soak in the tub or read a good book - and don't interrupt that time unless someone's bleeding or dying!!!
There IS hope! We just did a KY Intimacy Experiment (check out Couple's Place on Facebook, they have the book to follow in .pdf there.) It made a ton of difference for us. It's a 10-day thing, but you could make it once a week.
If she's not going for that, just try to be patient. Once she gets to feeling like her body is her own again, she'll be ready to share with you!
Thanks for that Alicia. KY Intimacy Experiment sound interesting (obviously). I'll definitely check that out. I can understand not wanting to be touched after having little monkey's climbing all over you all day. Unfortunately that doesn't make it any less frustrating for us horn-ball dads! Thanks so much for the response.
Anyone else have any ideas?
LOL I feel your pain brother.Its incredibly hard to admit for any guy what you just wrote.Well Here in our country we do little thing when a child is born.We send our wives away to her parents home for 15 days or so.So what happens is after a week or so she starts missing you and misses being near you and touched by you.When she comes back shes much fresher,happier,relaxed and much much more ready for sex! Works like a charm! The key, absence makes a heart not only fonder but hornier..lol
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